Dave’s story: following his parent’s legacy
Dave Pettingill has felt like a youth worker since he was three. He grew up with many foster brothers and sisters, and eventually, his parents used the family home as crisis accommodation. He loved meeting so many different kids. “From an early age I could see that behaviours were a symptom of coming from an unloving family, or a broken home, or trauma,” he says. “There was goodness and kindness behind those symptoms.”
Dave was going to follow his parents’ legacy until he got a job at McDonald’s. “I actually earned more than my mum per hour as a 16-year-old,” he says. “This was back in the year 2000, and so it wasn’t very appealing for myself…[youth workers] were grossly underpaid.” Dave went down the finance route instead, working as a broker and loan writer for nearly five years. But youth work kept calling.
“Finally, the penny dropped, and I was like, I don’t really want to just make someone else rich. I’d rather live a richer life and follow this legacy.”
Dave now works at the YSAS Residential Withdrawal in Geelong, supporting young people detoxing from drugs and alcohol. Many of the skills he teaches them are simple – how to cook, clean their clothes, make the bed, and write a resume. Then there are the more intangible skills, like emotional regulation. “A lot of thoughts and feelings can come up and place young people in highly volatile emotional states, [so] you can teach them how to self-soothe,” he says. “A text message might come in that’s thrown their mindset, and having someone there just to walk them through and go – ‘hey, let’s go for a drive, this craving might just last 20 minutes.'”
Many of the young people come from families where talking is not encouraged. “They’ve got all this stuff circling like a tornado in their mind,” he says. “When they actually write or speak about it, they realise it’s not as full on as in their head.” Dave teaches young people how to separate their problems into things they can and can’t control. “Let’s just focus on the controllables, and try to compartmentalise the uncontrollables because you can’t control that. Let’s be gentle and kind to yourself.”
Some of the young people who stay at the Geelong detox have never seen the ocean. “They actually say it’s the best day of their life doing the Great Ocean Road,” he says. “They just constantly take photos and it’s really hard to get them in the car.” Some have told Dave their experiences at YSAS are their greatest childhood memories. “It’s awesome on one hand, but it’s really quite sad on the other, that they might just be here for one week,” he says. Dave has received many calls from young people who got a job because he helped them write a resume and cover letter.
“It was just one hour out of my day going through it and encouraging them, so that’s really special.”